Dating Mess http://www.datingmess.com Dating can be messy! Wed, 22 Jul 2015 17:00:49 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.9.6 How To Spot and Handle a Bunny Boiler http://www.datingmess.com/how-to-spot-and-handle-a-bunny-boiler http://www.datingmess.com/how-to-spot-and-handle-a-bunny-boiler#comments Fri, 09 May 2014 00:17:35 +0000 http://www.datingmess.com/?p=224 Some bitches wait until after the relationship is over to unleash a full dose of insanity. Unfortunately, it is a common occurrence for perfectly reasonable girls to turn psychotic after a break-up; luckily, little hints can reveal the secret nature of a bunny boiler before it is too late. This guide reveals the truly nasty nature of a particularly malicious breed of lady. All men should be on guard against the bitter cruelty of a bunny boiler! Don’t be fooled by a fiendish femme fatale; instead, adhere to the wisdom below.

What is a Bunny Boiler?


The terrifying term is derived from Kevin Smith’s 1987 psychological horror exposé, “Fatal Attraction.” Glenn Close plays a villainous tramp named that turns into a raging demon when her heart is broken by Michael Douglas. The embodiment of such wicked cruelty is scathingly captured by her portrayal of Alex. In an attempt to sabotage her heartbreaker’s entire life, this spurned lover eventually kills his prized bunny. The devastating malice can go far further than a dead bunny on the stove; in fact, an original alternate ending featured Close’s character committing a grisly suicide that was staged to look like murder. Her ex-man was hopelessly incarcerated for the violent crime of passion.

As Alex coldly demonstrates, a timidly chaste demeanor during the entire course of togetherness means nothing when a break-up can lead to a personality overhaul. When this monstrous dual identity emerges, anything you cherish is fair game to the vindictive bunny boiler. Prized possessions will be annihilated in an unexpected bout of passive aggressive fury. To one of these devious skanks, every personal friendship can be a proverbial bunny in the boiler.

How to Spot a Bunny Boiler

Disturbingly, a key trait of most bunny boilers is a quaint facade of demure timidity. An aura of innocently casual coolness makes their bunny boiling tendencies almost undetectable. Only trained eyes can see through the disguise. Here are the prominent warning signals to look for:

If there are no traces of amicable former lovers, then be wary. She may have boiled their bunnies! Similarly, search for indications of jilted lovers. Any overly angry exes are also a bad sign, especially since a calmly reserved lady would seemingly not have done anything to warrant such extreme negative reactions. Tattoo cover-ups can flaunt unstable obsessions and irrationally impulsive decisions.

A lack of any substantial friend circle is another fateful red flag. This means that no one sticks around for very long once they learn her wicked ways. A refusal to join social media websites also displays unexplained paranoia that may stem from simmering some rabbits in the past. An open disregard for animals is another important sign. There is no overlap between animal lovers and bunny boilers, so callous reactions to pets may represent unnoticed psychopathic tendencies.

How to Deal with Bunny Boilers

First off, lock up Fluffy when you finally make the break! Otherwise, you may end up with a crispy fillet mignon. Seriously, put all pets in a kennel or with trustworthy friends. Make sure their whereabouts are kept unknown!

Consult law enforcement authorities, and collect ample amounts of evidence. Install extra security cameras to bolster the case against the psychotic bitch. Be prepared to take the case in front of a judge if she crosses any lines. Prosecute all instances of threats, trespassing, harassment, vandalism and violence. Keep in mind that metaphorical bunnies may arise in the form of fake pregnancy claims, false rape accusations and the seduction of friends. Change all locks, and be ready to move to a new home quickly.

Finally go public! Share your story of trauma to create a major social stigma surrounding the bunny boiler. This journalistic route will protect other potential victimized lovers from her fury. Make her name synonymous with bunny boiler on all the major search engines! After everything else, join the witness protection program if necessary. This woman is simply not a joke!

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“The Game” by Neil Strauss PDF http://www.datingmess.com/the-game-by-neil-strauss-pdf http://www.datingmess.com/the-game-by-neil-strauss-pdf#comments Tue, 15 Apr 2014 21:16:51 +0000 http://www.datingmess.com/?p=199 Download link at the bottom of the article.

Book Review of “The Game” by Neil Strauss

The first thing I notice about The Game is the book’s black (imitation) leather cover and metallic gold lettering. It almost reminds me of the Bible, that’s if the holy book had gold-plated silhouettes of women posing suggestively on the front. The bald guy to their right is Neil Strauss or “Style”, as he likes to be called. He’s not only the book’s author, but its main character.

Anyways, enough about the packaging (who even reads physical books these days?), let’s get to the review.

What’s It About?


The Game by Neil Strauss follows former Rolling Stones journalist Neil Strauss as he “penetrates” a group of pickup artists in the hopes of finally feeling the embrace of a warm vagina. He comes into the story as a perpetual failure with women, essentially a huge dork (or “AFC” in pick-up lingo) who reads and writes a lot to fill all the free time he has from not getting laid. Did we mention he’s short, ugly, and balding?

Even touring and partying backstage with Motley Crue wasn’t enough for Strauss to bang a few drunken sluts. Meanwhile, I contracted syphilis just thinking about it. But things finally begin to change after he pays a six foot five guy in black nail polish and a fuzzy hat $500 dollars to teach him how to get “hot babes”.

The tall goofy guy is Erik von Markovik, better known as Mystery. Most of the book revolves around Mystery and Style’s deepening bromance, but it also introduces some of the other prominent “PUAs” like Tyler Durden, David DeAngelo, and Ross Jeffries. They run around Hollywood wearing weird clothes and insulting women until they finally give in and have sex with them. Or in Jeffries’s case, hypnotizing them.

The book follows Strauss’s journey all the way from his first approach to his greatest successes. He learns how to attract women from his new buddy Mystery, along with private lessons from the rest of the gurus in the field. Whether it’s “negs” (backhanded compliments) or interpreting “IOIs” (indicators of interest or signs the girl likes you), he rapidly turns his haircut, style, and luck with women around

Mystery, Style, and a small group of other pick-up artists eventually secure a mansion in the Hollywood hills where they spend the next few years living out their dreams of wild nights in the big city and hungover mornings sprawled on a random floor. By the way, they’re all a bunch of (former) nerds, if you hadn’t already figured that out from all the acronyms and code speak.

Will It Teach Me to Get Girls?

Listen, Mystery made enough of a name for himself getting ass and teaching other guys to do the same that it landed him his own TV show (VH1’s The Pickup Artist). We’re sure at least some of his exploits are true, even if it was just because he approached so many women that some were bound to sleep with him. That being said, don’t read this book because you think it’ll help you get some action. That’s what chloroform is for (kidding).

Even in it’s prime, Mystery’s “Method” was pretty awkward. Do you really want to wear pants with laces down the side and read some drunk girl’s palm in a crowded bar? It’s not exactly what most people think of when they hear the term ladies man. You also have no idea where her hands have been.

Not to mention the fact that most girls have had the stuff he teaches tried on them at least a couple times by now. The book was an international bestseller after all and Mystery had a large following even before The Game. He’s credited with playing a big role in the art of seduction or “pick-up” but, just like we eventually advanced past hitting a girl over the head with a club and dragging her back to your cave by her hair, game has changed drastically over the years as it’s evolved and adapted.

There are plenty of other guys these days that can give you just as much insight into what women want and how to be an attractive man without all the weird shit and forced routines. It will save you money on loud and extravagant outfits, too.

Why Should I Read It?

Even though The Game by Neil Strauss doesn’t have much actual education value for those of you looking for tips on scoring chicks, that’s because it was intended as more of a memoir in the first place. And boy, is it an entertaining one. If you like (reading about) sex, drugs, and rock & roll, it’s definitely worth a skim through. Think of it as a nerdier version of a Tucker Max book but with more men wearing makeup.

You’ll laugh and cry but mostly cringe as Style awkwardly narrates his adventures, which feature fake breasted strippers, out-of-control rock stars, and dirty hot tubs. Since Neil was still writing for major papers and magazines at the time, there are plenty of noteworthy name drops and surprise cameos. Like when Mystery tries to steal Andy Dick’s girlfriend.

Or when Strauss develops a man crush on Tom Cruise during their multiple day interview for The New York Times. Or having Courtney Love move into their Hollywood mansion between stints in rehab. Style even claims he got Britney Spears’s interest during an interview by using the tactics he’d learned (yeah, right).

On top of all that, the book manages to introduce quite a bit of drama and betrayal. Ross Jeffries serves as Mystery’s rival throughout the story and conflict eventually surfaces between some of the guys in the mansion. Mystery and the rest of the crew continually struggle with their inner demons and face their insecurities head-on.

That being said, The Game by Neil Strauss IS long as shit. 450 pages long. It’s tough to dedicate that kind of time to reading about a bunch of reformed losers getting drunk and chasing hookers up and down the Sunset Strip. You may be surprised by how quick you breeze through it once you actually pick it up (get it?) though.

If you want to read “The Game” you can get it at Amazon or download it here: The Game by Neil Strauss PDF

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The Top 17 Advantages of Lasting Longer in Bed with PC Muscle Exercises http://www.datingmess.com/the-top-17-advantages-of-lasting-longer-in-bed-with-pc-muscle-exercises http://www.datingmess.com/the-top-17-advantages-of-lasting-longer-in-bed-with-pc-muscle-exercises#comments Fri, 11 Apr 2014 16:15:25 +0000 http://www.datingmess.com/?p=196

FREE DOWNLOAD

Men around the world are learning that there are countless advantages to using pc muscles to last longer in bed. The benefits can dramatically revolutionize sexual experiences for everyone involved. Here are the top 17 ways that a man’s enjoyment of intimacy can significantly improve by lasting longer in bed through pc muscle exercises.

1. The End of Coming Early

Premature ejaculation finally has a surefire cure. With pc exercises, guys never have to worry again about blowing their load too soon. The ability to temporarily abstain from orgasm during intense moments of intimacy can optimize a man’s sexual performance in the bedroom for a lifetime.

2. Bigger Loads

Lasting longer gives semen a chance to really build up. A bigger ejaculation automatically equals more physical pleasure, but it also provides an opportunity to really decorate your lady. After extensive pc exercises in bed, a man will find it possible to completely drench his lady friend in cum.

3. Increased Accuracy

Having control over when the body is about to unload a jizz bomb can also prevent unwanted misfires. By using pc muscles in bed, men can hone their aim for perfect cum delivery. There will never be another unwanted cream pie or eye glazing. Every drop can be placed exactly where it belongs.

4. Enhanced Engorgement

Become the definition of chiseled by using pc exercises to unlock a thicker shaft and swollen balls. Over time, lasting longer in bed will facilitate ample increases in a cock’s muscularity. Ultimately, this means a sexier profile with the functionality to back it up. Girls will swoon at the extra size that is caused by extended sexual swelling.

5. Reduced Pregnancy Risk

Ladies will be more inclined to go along with the pull-out method if sex is lasting too long; otherwise, they may try to clench down on every last bit of the hard cock they can get. After being fully satisfied, she will be more likely to gratefully (and gracefully) accept an external finish. The lack of kids will make lasting longer more fun in the future, especially because extended bedroom romps will not be in danger of interruption by needy children.

6. Improved Sensation

The extra semen build-up results in a fuller stimulation of penile nerves to generate extreme boosts in the presence of tingling sensations. Flexing pc muscles is even purported to be linked to the spiritual art of Kundalini, which means that men can even meditatively tap into an ecstatic state of infinite virility.

7. Ability to Go Faster

When a guy no longer has to resist an early finish, he can really start to accelerate the motions. The capacity to thrust will naturally be harder and faster. Overall, this means that pc muscle exercises boost sexual stamina to the point that speed variations can be seamlessly integrated. This ability to mix up the tempo works wonders in transitioning to kinkier activities and rough fantasies.

8. Stronger Ab Muscles

Pumping away for all those extra hours will inevitably hone a six pack. Learning to last longer in bed with pc muscle exercises generates a prosperous fitness routine in tandem with a good hard fucking. Because of an inherent need for upward thrusts, the cowgirl positions provide a powerful method for really treating the abdominal region to an extensive workout.

9. A More Defined Butt

In a similar sense, vigorous humping through pc exercises also leads to a more aesthetically refined backside. The posterior gets worked out with every motion, so lasting longer in bed naturally results in a nicer ass. Girls look for well-defined butts to determine if a man is an avid lovemaker; it’s simply the unspoken truth that firmly perky cheeks get game.

10. Earn a Positive Reputation

Impressed ladies have a tendency to talk, and they will divulge all of the gritty details pertaining to the men they bed. Premature ejaculation is one of the major complaints that women levy against the opposite gender, so they will feel downright spoiled when they find a guy that can last as long as they need. Since they cannot keep either pair of their lips sealed, word will spread among the girls like wildfire. Soon, horny babes will be arriving at your door begging for your endowment.

11. Having a Tired Partner the Next Day

By wearing his lady out with a rigorous fucking, a man can rest assured that the following day will be peaceful. When there is no doubt that she has been fully satisfied, all nagging concerns will fade away into the bliss of orgasmic union. Guys that know the secret of pc muscle exercises gain massive amounts of freedom in exchange for their ability to give a thorough dicking.

12. She Squeezes Tighter to Compensate

Making a virile guy blow his load is a challenge that most girls will put every effort into fulfilling. Ladies will respond by clenching their pussies tighter than ever in a passionate attempt to drain every ounce of cum from their man’s balls. By resisting orgasm, a man maximizes his enjoyment of her increasing tightness.

13. Presence of Extra Natural Lubricant

The pc muscles encourage the body to produce additional quantities of lubricating pre-cum. This oozing smegma provides slick moisture for a swifter in-and-out glide. Obviously, this only applies to sex without condoms, but the additional smoothness is definitely present and worth pursuing.

14. Better Masturbation

Solo bedtime fun can be improved by using pc muscle exercises. Orgasm can be postponed indefinitely, which means the self-love never has to end. This can be used to pursue endless gratification and pornography consumption. Masturbation provides an excellent opportunity to master pc muscle exercises without having the pressure of performance. Jerking off also helps with lasting longer too.

15. Gain Confidence

Being equipped with masterful performance skills in the bedroom can lead to overall improvements in a man’s psychological well-being. It is much easier to mentally approach a woman knowing that you aren’t going to let her down later in the bedroom. Using pc muscle exercises lets men enjoy giving pleasure, which garners self-worth and charm.

16. Master Impressive Physical Feats

Lasting longer in bed is just the beginning. Pc muscle exercises can enable a masterful level of control for men. Eventually, one can wag their cock on command. A man can even use his pc muscles to achieve a strong erection without any external stimuli. By just applying his mind, any guy can get literally rock hard. After staying thick for hours, it is possible to shoot cum an incredibly far distance. The practical uses of this last practice are questionable, but hitting the ceiling through the sheer force of ejaculation should constitute some form of bragging rights.

17. Enjoy Multiple Orgasms

One of the physical feats that accompanies extensive pc muscle exercises is the capacity to defy the godforsaken refractory period. Despite the conventional wisdom that declares multiple orgasms impossible for males, it is possible to achieve several spurts of glory in one go by using these techniques.

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When Girls Have Daddy Issues: A Man’s Guide http://www.datingmess.com/when-girls-have-daddy-issues-a-mans-guide http://www.datingmess.com/when-girls-have-daddy-issues-a-mans-guide#comments Wed, 09 Apr 2014 00:04:35 +0000 http://www.datingmess.com/?p=221 Pseudo-incest has become a real hit with a certain type of woman. For seemingly inexplicable reasons, a generalized obsession with father figures is pervasive among grown ladies. While this quirk may seem harmlessly kinky, it actually can foretell endless dangerous situations. This overview explores the root causes of daddy issues to provide men with a tactful approach to the issue.

What Are Daddy Issues?


Many girls grow up being spoiled like princesses by their dads. This affectionately royal treatment has daughters romanticizing their fathers at a young age. The little girls develop a competitive relationship with their mothers for dad’s attention. Sadly, this Electra Complex can remain unresolved well into adulthood.

The excessive fatherly attention can suddenly seem to evaporate around adolescence. This is around the stage little girls conflate affection with sexuality, so dads often back off to avoid kindling romantic associations. Unfortunately, this paternal withdrawal only creates more yearning at a time when hormones are unleashing mass confusion. Thus, teenage girls can quickly go from wanting a daddy to wanting the dad D.

Often times, they turn slutty to get the ire of their fathers, because any attention is good attention. They lure boys home to face his wrath. This is where you come in. She can easily get turned on by the power dynamics, which means your demise is merely arousal to her.

Daddy Issue Indications

There are countless tell-tale signs that show a bitch has daddy issues. Tattoos are often the first giveaway, especially if the girl was young enough to need parental permission at the time of inking. Any girl that has immortalized her father in the flesh is definitely committed to her daddy first and foremost. It is even worse if the tattoo is in a lewd area.

Speaking of which, provocative clothing around the family reveals an unwelcome proclivity to tease her dad. This is unacceptable even if the eroticism is non-consensual. At the bottom line, it means he coddled his daughter until she became solely fixated on him.

Ultimately, daddy issues are most likely to occur through role playing during sex sessions. This automatically invokes a submissive element to her actions, which makes the man take total dominance. If she starts referring to her partner by fatherly terms, it means he was her first sensual infatuation. Assuming the role of her dad automatically projects all the baggage of their relationship upon you, which spells problems if there is any history of abuse.

How to Handle Daddy Issues

The key to addressing daddy issues is complex, but open conversations are crucial to bridging the gap. If direct communication is not possible, it is wise to seek an objective third party. Marriage counselors live for this kind of drama.

In contrast to conventional wisdom, do not just break it off right away. Some sluts can manage to relegate daddy desires to that of a harmless fetish, but these girls are rare. Other ladies can heal from the trauma if given the chance to enter a caring partnership. With devoted passion, it is possible to psychologically dispel previous notions of romance. Deciding if this is worth the investment specifically depends on the individual lass. Still many times, the relationship cannot be salvaged. If the daddy obsession is too extreme for your tastes, then run fast!

Dads can pose a serious physical threat. Their overprotective nature can get a naive man killed. Make sure this is an altercation you can handle, and don’t enter his territory unarmed. Furthermore, the partner of a daddy’s girl may be expected to demonstrate the same overbearing possessiveness to prove their love. Here is one saving grace: The act of successfully defending her against her father can permanently sever the source of perverted desires. A violent victory against the dad is never the desired outcome, but it can switch her brain’s association for safety to favor you over her real father.

Overall, if you have kinky fantasies of being in a faux father/daughter relationship, a princess with daddy issues is the perfect match. Just be prepared to act as an emotional caretaker at all times, and enjoy the taboo roller-coaster.

How To Spot and Handle a Bunny Boiler

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4 Things Women Get Wrong About Men http://www.datingmess.com/4-things-women-get-wrong-about-men http://www.datingmess.com/4-things-women-get-wrong-about-men#respond Sun, 09 Feb 2014 21:58:33 +0000 http://www.datingmess.com/?p=172 Written by a woman, yes I have spies working for us guys!

Now listen up, because I’m breaking a big rule here. Every girl knows that it’s part of the girl-code that we never admit to being wrong. Ever. Until now. The fact is that women are fed an awful lot of bullshit about men. Blame Cosmo, Oprah, whoever you like. When it comes down to it, it’s not always our fault that we’re wrong about you. What I hope, is that by sharing this information (and possibly having to go into the Witness Protection Program), you may be a little more understanding and tolerant when we screw up. And if you’re a truly awesome guy, you’ll educate your girl to know differently. So, here goes, the myths that women believe about men…

1. You Like Surprises in Bed

This is definitely Cosmo’s fault. For years we have been told that to keep the magic alive we need to constantly surprise you. We receive advice such as, “surprise him by putting a finger in his ass just as he cums!” (yes, really, I have read that), or “try sucking on a strong mint as you fellate him!” Rather obviously these things would probably surprise you a little more than you would like. If you do not enjoy nasty surprises, you may want to define what a surprise actually is.

2. You Think About Sex All the Time

Ever since some ridiculous statistic came out saying that men think about sex every three seconds it’s become accepted as truth in women’s media that all you ever do is fantasize. Logistically this cannot be true, as many of you hold down jobs, and manage to watch an entire episode of Breaking Bad without whipping it out for a quick wank. And yet we believe it. So you might be down for a little cuddle time, but in the back of our heads there is always the idea that you’re only cuddling because you want sex. Little unfair maybe?

3. You Put Hidden Meanings into Everything

This isn’t so much anyone’s fault, as a flaw in our design. Women are analytical by nature. We are rarely direct in what we say and therefore we presume that you aren’t either. When you say “I’m tired,” you mean “I’m tired.” But we think maybe I’m boring him, maybe he wants to go to bed for sex, maybe he’s been screwing around with someone else and that’s why he’s tired…. and on and on and on…. Yes, it’s hysterical. But it’s difficult for us to get our heads around the fact that you actually mean what you say.

4. You Masturbate/Watch Porn Because We’re Not Enough For You

Women are self-doubting creatures. Is it really any wonder? We’re constantly being bombarded with images of what attractive and sexy looks like that we can’t possibly live up to. We’re constantly being told of ways to improve our sexual skills, intimating that we’re not good enough already. So, yes, when we catch you whacking off, or see your browser history, we jump to the conclusion that we’re just not good enough for you. And that’s pretty hurtful. It probably sounds a little stupid to you, and logically, even we know that it doesn’t make sense. But the truth is, our first reaction to something like this is nearly always going to be a feeling of unworthiness. So be careful how you handle the situation.

How To Spot and Handle a Bunny Boiler

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3 Tips to Become a Girl Magnet http://www.datingmess.com/3-tips-to-become-a-girl-magnet http://www.datingmess.com/3-tips-to-become-a-girl-magnet#respond Sun, 09 Feb 2014 21:43:11 +0000 http://www.datingmess.com/?p=166 She is right there 13 feet away from you, but it feels like she is living in Zimbabwe.

You will never get her… right?

So many guys I talk to about dating are completely stuck in a very linear, There-Is-Only-One-Way-type mindset.

It makes sense too, because that is whatever every other dating advice guy is telling you. Dating experts say, “If you want to date a beautiful girl, then you have to go approach like 658 women every day.” Approach, approach, approach is on every guy’s mind.

Approaching girls seems like the only way, right?

But there is an easier way.

How smart guys become a girl magnet…

Smart guys create a life where women approach them.

What if hot, sexy women were coming up to you every day and introducing themselves? What if you regularly were approached by women, who wanted you?

Yo, my friend! You don’t need to be Brad Pitt or George Clooney (or even Justin Bieber) to make this happen.

Any broke dude living in his Mom’s basement can make this happen starting today. This post is for guy’s who realize that working HARDER isn’t as effective as being SMARTER.

Here are 3 ways you can become a Girl Magnet… starting today:

1. Get IN The Friend Zone.

Guys who don’t need to approach women have a lot of girl FRIENDS.

These guys hang out with girls all the time and they understand how women communicate. The more you hang out with women, the more you get how women think.

All your girl friends know other girls too and pretty soon you have an entire network of attractive girl acquaintances. Plus, you are IN with attractive girls, so other girls see you as more attractive. Women are very social creatures like that.

Common scenario: You are sitting in a café checking your email and sipping a latte. Then a girl approaches you and says, “Hey, you are friends with Catherine, right?”

She feels comfortable coming up and talking to you, because you are connected by a female friend. You can then continue the conversation from there.

Quick Action: Start making close girl friends one by one.

Reach out to one girl acquaintance the next time you see her. Get really interested in what she is doing with her life. Get excited for her, no matter what she is working on.

2. Pursue Your Passion:

Girls go crazy for guys who are passionate, curious, and going after their dreams. I’m talking crazy.

If you can talk about how you want to travel the world, create a world-changing business, or work on a stopping hunger, then you are a HOT guy.

Most guys think they need to have achieved their dreams and be driving a Porshe to attract girls… WRONG! You just need to be taking steps toward your dream. You can’t be all talk… any girl will see through that quickly.

You need to be taking daily action towards your dreams.

Quick Action: Do one thing every day that helps you get closer to your dreams… even if it is small. Read a chapter in an inspirational book, enroll in a course, subscribe to a blog, or contact a potential mentor. Do one thing every day.

3. Talk To Everyone.

Be a social guy, who chats with everyone you meet.

Talk to the gas station clerk, learn about the barista at your local coffee shop, and joke with your waitress.

Here’s why this works:
-Practice is the only way to improve your social skills. The more you practice on people you could care less about, the better you will be able to make that hot French model’s jaw drop and want you.
-Everyone see’s you as a social leader. Women are attracted to leaders and when she see’s you talking to people in a café or at a party, she is more likely to say hello. Women are really social creatures and they get really hot for guys who understand socializing.

Quick Action: Talk to someone right now.

Seriously… just close your computer and go have a simple conversation with ANYONE. Go ask someone for the time, or what the weather is supposed to be, or if you are home alone, send an email to someone you haven’t talked to in awhile.

“The Game” by Neil Strauss

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10 Reasons Being a Guy is Awesome! http://www.datingmess.com/10-reasons-being-a-guy-is-awesome http://www.datingmess.com/10-reasons-being-a-guy-is-awesome#respond Sun, 09 Feb 2014 21:24:01 +0000 http://www.datingmess.com/?p=158 After reading “10 Reasons it Sucks Being a Guy“, you either wrote me off as a whiny little bitch or you’re considering a sex change. But don’t cut your balls off and get breast implants just yet. It’s time to flip the coin and tell the other side of the story.

You know, the one where boys rule and girls drool. Because from our superior bathroom habits to our big muscles and grizzled good looks, being a dude rocks. Here are ten reasons why.

1. Going shirtless

A shirtless man may warrant staring in the wrong venue, especially if he’s particularly in- or out-of-shape, but not even close to the calamity that ensues the moment a woman goes full frontal. There’d be an 11-car pileup at the end of the driveway if a chick went out to work on her car bare breasted.

When you’re playing shirts vs. skins basketball, remember how lucky you are.

2. Shaving

This one may be a little confusing at first glance. Guys shave all the time. Maintaining your man mane can be a real pain. Editor’s note: We sincerely apologize for that terrible rhyme. But what would you rather shave every few days…your face or your legs? I’m not even sure I understand the basic logistics behind taking a razor blade to your calves so let’s leave that one for the ladies and pro swimmers to figure out.

3. No vagina

Sure, we all love a good vagina. Doesn’t mean we want to have them. First of all, imagine feeling like shit for a week out of every month because there’s blood spilling out of your private areas. Periods are annoying enough as it is without having one of my own.

On top of that, miniature human beings come out of them. Oh yeah, sometimes they really smell, too. So next time you’re touching yourself, let your penis know how much he means to you.

4. Strength

You can barely stand having to ask for directions; imagine not being able to open a pickle jar without help. Thus is the plight of women. Combine that with your height advantage and you can grab that box of random shit on the top shelf of the closet without a step ladder, unlike your female counterpart.

A man’s strength is one of the inherent biological advantages of being a male and one of the aspects that truly makes us who we are.

5. Prep time

If you’ve ever had a girlfriend (an attractive one at least), you know women can literally spend an entire day getting ready for a two hour date. Nothing wrong with that, ladies. We love it when you look good. But I’d probably shoot myself if I had to spend an hour straightening my hair before going out to dinner.

I don’t think most men have considered how lucky we are that messy hair is actually considered stylish on us. Brush your teeth, throw on some deodorant, and run your hand through your hair and you’re looking sharp.

6. No bra

There isn’t much better than a great pair of boobs. The catch is, society dictates that they must be held back and under control by bras during daylight hours, whereas even the fellas with man boobs don’t have to wear them.

These strange contraptions made of elastic and wiring can be very uncomfortable for the wearer. From what I’ve heard, of course. I’ve definitely never worn a bra, I don’t know who told you that.

7. Emotionless

Let’s face it, bitches be trippin’. If you’re ever thought to yourself “why is she so upset” as your significant other throws dishes against the wall because you left the toilet seat up, I’m sure you can relate to this one. Women are emotional creatures, which means the things they do don’t always make sense from your more logical male perspective.

Unfortunately, our rational brain is balanced out by the sex fiend in us. I’m sure most of us could write a novel about the terrible boner influenced decisions we’ve made in the past.

8. Safety

Unless you’ve spent some time in prison, you probably don’t know what it’s like to fear you’re going to be raped. I surely don’t, other than that night I mistakenly stumbled into a gay bar in Detroit at 3:47am wearing a shirt that said “Blow Me”. You can go out running in the middle of the night wearing a speedo and even the most sadistic sexual deviant will not be able to force himself upon you. This is a luxury many women do not have.

9. Standing up to piss

As a guy, the world is your bathroom. In the woods, behind a building, on a roof, or under an overpass, you can comfortably relieve yourself damn near anywhere. Hell, one time I took a leak from the window of a moving car.

The next time you use a public bathroom without having to line the toilet seat with paper to sit down, give yourself a pat on the back…you’re a man. Just try not to get it on the seat or floor, please.

10. Aging gracefully

There’s a saying that goes: “men age like wine, women age like milk”. While I won’t go so far as to call old women spoiled milk, there is a slight resemblance if you squint your eyes. There are ladies who “look good for 50”, then there’s guys like Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp who have remained sex symbols into their later years. Many males actually get better looking as they get
older.

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6 Female FAQs http://www.datingmess.com/6-female-faqs http://www.datingmess.com/6-female-faqs#respond Sun, 09 Feb 2014 20:58:46 +0000 http://www.datingmess.com/?p=153 You know those questions you’ve always wanted to ask a woman, but never thought you’d get a straight answer? Well, we did all the work for you. A simple survey got these six hot questions from guys, and we got the girl to answer them for you. Let these things be a mystery no more, what exactly is going on in a girl’s head?

1. Do women fake it?

Yes, is the short answer to that. And most women do at some point. Will you know? Probably not, unless you know your partner extremely well, or she’s a really bad actress. Why? Well, my only defense to this (which is in fact straight up lying to your partner, really), is that if you were less goal-oriented, I wouldn’t feel the need to fake it. By that I mean that if you are man enough to understand that sometimes it’s just not going to happen (because I’m tired, or stressed, or just not in the right place), and can understand that I can have sex and enjoy myself without having an orgasm, then I won’t fake it. On the other hand, if you’re going to take it as a challenge and redouble your efforts and not take my feelings into account, then yeah, I’m going to fake it so I can get my cuddles and go to sleep. Simple as that really.

2. What do women do in the bathroom?

You mean other than the obvious? Yeah, I get your point, we can spend ages in there. We do the normal stuff, and then changing a tampon can take a little time, if that’s an issue. Other than that it’s mostly primping, to be honest. Lipstick check, making sure my mascara isn’t smudged, that kind of stuff. Makeup takes a lot of upkeep, you can’t just put it on and go, you need to adjust and reapply every couple of hours, so that’s what’s taking the time.

3. Why do women say nothing’s wrong when there’s obviously something wrong?

Ah, one of the eternal mysteries of life. Honestly, I don’t know. I know when I say it that it’s a stupid thing to say, but I do it anyway. I think part of it is that I’m already pissed off so I want you to work a bit harder to get the info out of me as a kind of punishment. Occasionally, it’s because I haven’t precisely formulated what’s wrong yet, although I know I’m mad, I need a little time to put it into words. But mostly, I have absolutely no idea. It just seems to happen, as much as I know it shouldn’t.

4. So, when women say nothing’s wrong, what the hell am I supposed to do?

That’s a bit easier. There’s a pretty simple routine you can go through, although it might take swallowing your pride a bit. When she says ‘nothing’, you say ‘but I can see that something is bothering you, please tell me what it is, I hate it when you’re unhappy.’ You must say this without anger, and without defensiveness, it must be as disarming as possible. Even a hand on the shoulder might help. As soon as you start to show anger or defensiveness or even frustration, she’s just going to get even more mad. So keep it reasonable. If she continues to say ‘nothing,’ then leave it with a simple ‘okay then, but if you want to talk about it, I’m here.’ That should avoid the argument.

5. What’s in your bag?

Everything. Seriously. Yeah, it weighs a ton, but at least I’m well-prepared. Partly I carry everything because being a girl requires maintenance, so there’s makeup, tampons, spare underwear (for bloody accidents, rather than wetting accidents, thank you very much), spare pantyhose, stain removing tissues, that kind of thing. But it’s also because you never know what’s going to happen, or where you’re going to spend the night. You know what though? When you need a pair of pantyhose to fix the fanbelt on your car, or a wet tissue to get the mustard off your tie, you’ll be damn grateful that I carry my entire life around in my bag.

6. Seriously, do women like going down on me?

That’s a loaded question. Am I dying to put your genitals into my mouth? Er, no, not really, to be honest. I do, however, enjoy seeing you turned on, and adore the power that I have simply by using my mouth, so from that point of view, yes, I enjoy it very much. So it’s a bit of a toss up. But if it makes you feel better, I, like most women, don’t make a practice of doing things I don’t want to do, so if I’m doing it, it means I want to. Believe it or not, I do want to please you, and if I know that a blow job turns you on, then it’s going to turn me on too, if that makes sense…

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8 Pitfalls that Guarantee You Won’t Get Laid After a First Date http://www.datingmess.com/8-pitfalls-that-guarantee-you-wont-get-laid-after-a-first-date http://www.datingmess.com/8-pitfalls-that-guarantee-you-wont-get-laid-after-a-first-date#comments Thu, 02 Jan 2014 02:12:31 +0000 http://www.datingmess.com/?p=109 8 Pitfalls that Guarantee You Won't Get Laid After a First DateAlright fellas, everyone knows that you put your best foot forward on a date, especially a first date. Either way, your ulterior motives are not so hidden these days. Every girl knows your ultimate goal is to fuck her by the end of the night. What you don’t want to fuck is your chance at that before you even try to make your move- which guys tend to do without realizing it. If you want to improve your chances of getting laid after a first date, educate yourselves on the list that follows (really though…study it, make a drinking game out of it, whatever you need to do…do it):

1. Car or dumpster?

If you’re picking a girl up to take her out on a date, clean your fucking car! If she has to move fast food remnants, crusty napkins/tissues (used for who knows what), and empty bottles off the passenger seat before she can get in the car, you are off to a shitty start. This tells the girl that you are sloppy and dirty. If you don’t think she is instantly afraid that you are the same way sexually, you need to reevaluate. She figures, if you are sloppy in your car, why wouldn’t you be sloppy in bed? If your car is dirty, chances are you and your penis are too. Plus, fast food makes for bitter tasting cum. If it looks as though that is the main component of your diet, the swallowing ship has already sailed.

2. Premature hand holding

If you’re on a first date and you start holding your dates hand in the car right after you pick her up, you are not getting laid tonight. The girl will most likely feel suffocated or down right creeped out. If she keeps texting using both hands, do yourself a favor and take the hint! For that matter, if she is continuously keeping both of her hands occupied (and it does not involve your dick), there is a reason. It is too soon dude. Stop trying to hold her hand!

3. “Selfie nation”

If you try to take a selfie with your date for Instagram or some other social media feed of gossip, you’re not going to be doing any fucking with this girl. A selfie for social media on any date can be questionable, let alone the first date. By trying to post a picture with her, you are automatically indicating that you are overconfident. Who are you to decide that the two of you are already going to be seen together on a large scale? Chances are, this girl won’t be giving your ass a chance at a second date if she feels you are already trying to mark your territory on social media, never mind inside her.

4. Cocky bastard

Confidence is one thing but there is a fine line between a guy being confident and a guy just being cocky. In other words, acting like you’re hot shit on a first date is not going to impress the girl. If you are one of those guys who knows everybody you encounter while on the date, or claims to know everybody, you are not getting laid. Hell, if you know so many people, why would you need your date anyway? If you are making your relationships with other people the center of attention instead of your date, why would she fuck you? Hopefully you know your right or left hand really well because that is what you will be looking to after your date if you want to bust a nut.

5. The masturbation conversation

Do you know how many men ask women if they masturbate on a first date? A lot. Do you know how many men should be asking that question on a first date? NONE. If you are are trying to come off as a very honest and open man, tell the girl your penis size or something. That is, your ACTUAL penis size, and be prepared to prove it later. But whatever you do, do not obligate her to share a personal fact as well. If she wants to, she will offer one in response to yours. If you start giving her a speech on your masturbation habits because you think it’s macho or sexy or you have some other vain reason, you are really only hurting your chances of sex. If your date feels you are very content with just roping one out yourself, she will not feel that it’s necessary to help you out later on!

6. Eating like a bird

For most girls, it is a turn off if a man eats less than her. Not only does it make her feel fat but it also makes you look like a bitch. Sorry guys but it’s the truth! If you are trying to seem manly, don’t throw in the napkin after a few bites. She will feel awkward if she continues to eat while you just sit there and watch. Also, chances are, she wants dessert. Girls love dessert. If you don’t even come close to finishing your dinner, she will feel like she needs to stop eating too and dessert will be out of the question. And no, that does not mean she’s saving room for your cake batter. Shit, if you can’t finish a meal, she might question if you can finish at all!

7. What are you wearing?

A lot of men try way too hard to look hot on a first date. Tight shirts do not create the illusion that you’re jacked. If anything, your date might question if you borrowed the shirt from your little brother or even your younger sister. Another common male fashion failure is tight pants. Yes, women want to see your physique but if your pants are tighter than hers, that’s a problem. Plus, your date will probably be able to size up your penis before you even have the chance to put it between her legs. Popped collars, obnoxious belt buckles, overly pointed boots, and tacky jewelry are also great ways to not get laid. Your date may want to rip your clothes off of you but not for good reasons.

8. Put your phone away

If you are on your cell phone through most of the date, she is going to feel like you’re not very interested in her. If you’re texting other girls and think it will make her try harder because she has competition, think again. Most girls have other guys waiting in the wings. They are not going to go out of their way to go on a second date with you. If you aren’t texting but are still on your phone, she is just going to think you’re weird. What is so interesting on your phone that you can’t put it away while you’re on a date? Hopefully you have some good porn on there because you’ll be needing it when you get home.

At the end of the day, don’t be that fucking guy! You will not get laid after a first date and you probably won’t even get a second date. Finally, if she is 20+ years old and still a virgin, you just wasted your time reading this list. There is no chance in hell she’s going to give it up after a first date no matter what you do or don’t do.

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16 Themes in Porn that are Risky in Real Life Dating http://www.datingmess.com/16-themes-in-porn-that-are-risky-in-real-life-dating http://www.datingmess.com/16-themes-in-porn-that-are-risky-in-real-life-dating#respond Fri, 20 Dec 2013 03:10:45 +0000 http://www.datingmess.com/?p=102 16 Themes in Porn that are Risky in Real Life DatingFor men, the modern prevalence of hardcore pornography has led to some unfortunate misconceptions about how to explore certain sexual behaviors while dating. Actresses in the medium portray fucking as a world of pure nymphomania, but there are many hidden considerations to keep in mind before attempting to replicate on-screen techniques with lady friends in real life. The following carnal expressions are not necessarily bad, but they will require tact for erotic success.

1. Anal


Butt-sex is a centerpiece of today’s porn scene. The girls are paid to fit enormous dicks in their asses, and they are always prepared for an extreme pounding. Not surprisingly, ladies are much more delicate in real life. To make anal sex happen, men must be gentle with their dates, at least for the first few minutes. Persuasion requires intellectual awareness of her physical needs and boundaries. Use lube, and stretch beforehand with a butt plug. Ask before sending spurts of semen into her intestinal tract, especially since cum farts may cause her to rethink future romps in the rear end.

2. Ass-to-Mouth

For public enjoyment, a pornstar eagerly wrap her lips around dicks that have been freshly removed from deep inside her rectum. Sadly, real girls will probably wince at the flavor of their own colon. When a woman happens to enjoy taking it in the rear, nothing is more apt to ruin her experience than a shit covered cock shoved down her exasperated throat. If she is willing to try it, examine for brown specs before shoving that fecal matter in her mouth. This will prevent any unwanted interruptions during intercourse.

3. Giant Cocks

Contrary to conventional wisdom, it is not comfortable for most women to fit something the size of their forearm inside the pussy. No girl wants to endure a relentless thrashing of the cervix. Soreness can last for days, and vaginal tears are a morbid possibility. Even worse, endowed guys can also encounter the jagged sharpness of an IUD plate for terrifyingly gruesome results. Overall, forget about the rabid poundings on the screen; since it takes time to stretch a tiny cunt to maximum capacity, long members mandate a gentle insertion.

4. Facials

Almost every porn scene ends with the woman’s face getting drenched in cum. Even bona fide porn veterans grimace when it comes to the money shot, so your girlfriend will likely resist getting her face messy. Keep in mind, she probably does not possess the endlessly long eyeless extensions to keep the deluge of jizz out of her eyes. She also does not have a devoted team of professional make up artists to fix the smeared mascara. Women don’t seem to understand the male fixation with facials, but it is a simple blend of dominance and acceptance. Girls that do enjoy being splashed with sperm can wear glasses to protect their pupils. Most importantly, don’t deliver a surprise load, and help with the post-sex cleaning.

5. Creampies

A pussy pumped full of cum leads to pregnancy and potential diseases. It looks good on the screen, but a vaginal creampie can be an expensive mistake. Porn performers take every possible safeguard when taking cum in their pussies on camera, and these protective measures are not always available to the public. The risks are too severe for the momentary aesthetic pleasure, so men should resist the urge to finish inside the cunt unless their is evidence of reliable birth control and testing.

6. Swallowing

Everyone has seen an internet starlet gallantly gulping gallons of semen, but ejaculate does not taste like honey. If your girlfriend is gracious enough to swallow, be considerate. Let her choose how she handles the load. Men that enjoy watching their date consume their cum should be conscious of their dietary intake to prevent unpleasant flavors. Certain foods can sweeten the semen, so guys can ensure a fun time for the vixens that enjoy downing their sticky reward. As a bonus, swallowing eliminates most of the mess. Just don’t be pushy about it, and she’ll realize the convenience.

7. Rim-Jobs

Butt licking spontaneously pops up in porn during random intervals, but actual girls require ample forewarning and planning. In either direction, the act reaches new levels of intimacy; however, simply asking an elegant beauty to shove her tongue in your anus is impolite and classless. Likewise, a lady does not want to feel like her asshole is her most attractive feature. The sensation can be spectacular for both genders; however, this realm should involve astute hygiene skills.

8. Slapping & Spanking

Ladies in porn love being manhandled. Violence has become a common occurrence in mainstream videos, but it should not automatically transcend erotica to take place in real life. Some girls absolutely love being spanked, but the subject requires keen attention and care. Trust is very important in this regard. Even girls that adore discipline might not want the extreme force that leads to painfully long-lasting ass welts. Slapping is a little more controversial, and it should only be employed with explicit permission.

9. Deep-Throat & Puking

Blowjobs did not always used to mean gagging, but porn has changed oral sex to require a total tonsil tickling. Face-fucking is a popular outlet for rough sex on screen, but girlfriends need a little more care. If a girl requests a skull banging, then give it to her within reason; however, there is no need to turn a blowjob into brutality. Getting head should be about receiving sometimes, so just let her do the work if she wants to. Otherwise, your enthusiastic thrusting could cause her to vomit, which will cause her to lose any sense of passion. Girls in porn throw up occasionally, but it should not be a recurring trend in any couple’s standard sexual procedures unless they like it.

10. Golden Showers

Piss porn is a shockingly popular niche. In real life, if you pee without permission, you’re in trouble! A surprise soak can end the chances of any future relationship. It takes a rare breed to actually enjoy being doused in urine, and a man better let his date return the favor.

11. Scat

Shitting on sexual partners is a unique niche in contemporary erotica. Again, defecation requires permission, and not many girls give it. The few that will partake in this activity are daring and adventurous. As an extra note, there is a massive difference between a single loaf and diarrhea. Never give too much, and stop the moment she demands an end. Additionally, be prepared for thorough cleaning in advance.

12. Donkey Punching

Socking a lady in the head to induce vaginal clenching is an unwelcome maneuver that porn has popularized. Pulling this move on a date can lead to assault charges. Some bitches may request this dangerous stunt, but the force has to be carefully measured to achieve the desired tightening without causing a concussion. With donkey punches, guys must be extraordinarily careful.

13. Name Calling

There is a major difference between, “my sexy little slut,” and, “daddy’s favorite used up piglet cum-whore.” Communicate about acceptable terms beforehand; otherwise, surprise instances of overly crass langue will instantly kill the mood. Keep it flirty and fun; in fact, insults should be avoided. Err on the side of caution by going with “naughty fuck-toy” instead of “worthless filthy bitch.”

14. Choking

Actresses often reach orgasm while being gripped around the throat, but this move can scare girls in real life. Asphyxiation can add to the overall sensation, but crossing the line can be fatal. Many girls like this extra layers of excitement. If choking, always make sure she can get air if she needs to, and let her stop you within a moment’s notice.

15. Fisting

Countless videos depict the stretching of a porn starlet’s pussy to fit a clenched fist. In actuality, there is not much pleasure for a lady to gain from this experience. Ultimately, the extreme act can cause a loss of sensitive down the road. Fitting the forearm is a formidable feat, but it is a harmful fetish to repeatedly perform.

16. Squirting

Female ejaculation reaches mythical proportions. Legions of pornographic performers explode liquid from their crotches during orgasms, and men may be disappointed that it happens far less frequently in real life. Usually, the liquid is just a backlog of urine, which should remove most of the appeal. Still, it is not impossible to achieve a real squirt. Just like everything else on this list, it merely takes pure effort and devotion.

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